Imagineering a False hope

I fail to interpret at this moment what should I exactly feel .the feeling of someone leaving is like an excruciating pain. the farther the people go the difficult it becomes…

Imagine this and feel the agonizing pain .For an engineer the most proud day of his life could be when he shoots down a job at campus but tell me what should I be happy about because when you turn around to thank the numerous people who have had a significant role in this you find that not all are there to see this day of your life . I lost the teacher whom I respected the most and from whom I learnt virtually everything I know about this “funny language”.

Next when I wanted to thank the person who had the influence in whatever spiritualism I have and the one whom I could say the purest soul my nanaji is too gone forever.
Life and death are such an inseparable cycle that no matter what you do at the fag end of it this is something that will really round you up.
I told someone that I believe in living in the present and when that someone tries to snatch away that present from me tell me how helpless I become. Sometimes it really not easy to be me but at the same time I feel that all that I am feeling today must have been felt by each and every individual that has ever resided on this planet.
How does it feel to be stuck at the cross road when just every thing that’s passing by seems like a haze .All the fast moving cars and the honking of trams nothing but a maze of confused thoughts. Its really difficult out here at the crossroad when you know that one wrong decision and everything that you have worked and fought for can be lost. I am thus at this moment standing at this very time at a place where I am not only confused but also skeptical and afraid .This cross road can very well decide my happiness in life .I don’t want to lose someone whom I have worshipped so honestly .

Well the other thoughts too haunt me ,am I a really bad chap with loads of messed up stuff on his head and what I am getting today in nothing but God’s payback time and what more this is my destiny,my future.

I once felt that once done with my degree I would be finally free from the shackles of living alone but alas things too longed for become their own graves. Are the lonely days ready to be extended by three more years…What three more years …. Well at this stage I would just pray and hope that nothing but just three more years if it happens ..Who knows what I fear for three years might just extend to a life time. Well only time and faith can tell..
Life has its funny ways ..What could have been the most beautiful month of my life turned sour and nothing absolutely nothing went right ..Well the placement was just an aberration …. So will I ever get to rejoice …Well that’s a funny question ..All an all I am just trying to be a better man ...